The 7 most common reasons for divorce.

I went through my own divorce many years ago now and I was completely devastated by it. It’s the second most traumatic event you can experience in your life and it has wide reaching repercussions. In the UK 42% of marriages sadly end in divorce. These figures don’t take into account the effects of lockdown either – with law firms saying that they’re seeing a 40% increase in the number of enquiries for divorce.

Although there are many reasons a marriage may end, here are the 7 that I believe are the most common ones. I have deliberately not mentioned abuse, as that will be discussed separately in a future blog.

The 7 most common reasons for a divorce:

1. Infidelity – This is one of the main reasons couples divorce and in the UK adultery is one of the reasons that can be cited in the Divorce petition. For some couples there’s no going back after one partner’s been unfaithful and their trust has been betrayed. With social media, it makes it easier than ever to have an affair and reconnect with old flames or to meet new people on line. Underlying feelings of anger and resentment as well as differences in sexual desire are common reasons that people cheat.

2. Financial stress – Having less money as a couple leads to a higher risk of divorce - if money is scarce it can lead to huge amounts of stress and tension. Disagreements on how to manage the money, or the debt, can lead to constant arguments, putting a strain on the marriage. ‘Financial infidelity’ – where one partner lies about their financial status or problems can also lead to the end of a marriage. A large earnings differential – particularly where the woman is earning significantly more than the man – can be too much strain for some marriages.

3. Lack of communication – This is a huge reason many marriages end as it causes anger, resentment, frustration and a lack of fulfilment with the relationship. Couples can either find themselves barely speaking to each other or being hostile towards each other and continually arguing. If a partner feels that they can’t express their needs and wants in the relationship, then ultimately, this can lead to resentment, frustration and the end of the marriage. Some people also expect their partner to be mind-readers and to know what they want without them having to express it - which only leads to disappointment.

4. Growing apart – People change over time and they can end up wanting different things out of life. They may have had lots in common at the start of their relationship, but as they grow, their goals and vision for their future change and they no longer want the same things in life. They feel less connected to each other. This can also happen if there are significant life events that the couple have to face such as serious illness, loss of a family member or redundancy. Instead of facing the challenge together and bringing them closer, it drives a wedge between them.

5. Irreconcilable differences – Often there can just be too many differences in too many areas of the marriage that a couple can’t resolve. Over time this leads to resentment, anger, frustration and unhappiness until the couple eventually decide they want to move on with their lives separately.

6. Addictions – to drugs, drink, sex, gambling or anything else can all put a huge strain on a relationship. The other partner can feel betrayed and pushed to their limits and reach the point of no return for their marriage.

7. Lack of intimacy – this is often the cause of affairs. Over time couples lose the intimacy they once had and don’t feel connected to each other anymore. This isn’t always about sex but can be due to a lack of emotional intimacy – especially for women.

Statistics show that 20% of people regret their divorce, so if this is something you’re considering at the moment, make sure that you’re absolutely certain your marriage can’t be saved. Seek expert help if you need to from a marriage counsellor and explore whether you can work through your issues together.

If you do decide to leave, make sure you do so with no regrets. Equally if you can’t resolve your issues and get things back on track, then life’s too short to stay in a marriage that doesn’t fulfil you. You deserve so much more.

If you’re going through a divorce at the moment and struggling to cope you can download my free gift to you – 10 Simple Secrets to Let Go of Heartbreak & Start Moving on With Your Life After Your Separation.

www.sarah-woodward.com/10-Secrets

I also have a free Facebook group you can join – The Breakup and Divorce Lounge. It’s a community of women all in the same situation to support and encourage each other in a safe and non-judgemental space. https://bit.ly/thebreakupanddivorcelounge