Are you still living your old life... just without your ex?

I know I did this for years after my husband left.

I still lived in the same house we’d shared… the dream home we’d bought together.

Went to the same gym

And still saw all the friends we’d seen as a couple… just on my own.

Until I realised that all this was doing was highlighting the huge void that had been left in my life which was keeping me stuck in the past… unable to move on with my life and create new memories.

I’d spend an evening with friends and then drive home distraught and in tears at how my life had changed. I felt alone and heartbroken and just wanted my old life back.

Eventually I realised that I had to change what I was doing if I wanted my life to change. No one else could change it for me and no one was coming to save me.

I finished renovating my house and made it my own, changing things that I’d compromised on. I took all the photos down and boxed away any reminders of my old life, replacing them with things that I loved and made me smile.

I changed gyms so there was no chance of bumping into him which took away a huge amount of anxiety.

And I pulled back from seeing the friends we’d spent time with as a couple for a while… which was tough… but I knew I needed to do it if I was going to be able to heal and focus on my future.

I focused on myself and my future and what was going to make me happy, instead of staying stuck in the past and continually reliving my old life.

I said yes to opportunities that came my way even if it was way out of my comfort zone.

I spent time with people who lit me up and made me feel good about myself.

I discovered my passion for wildlife photography which hadn’t even been on my radar and that led to me making new friends and having adventures all over the world. And all that came from saying yes to a friend when she asked if I wanted to go to a travel exhibition one rainy Saturday.

I started asking myself what I wanted and what was going to serve me best… instead of doing what I thought was ‘expected’ of me, or what I thought I ‘should’ be doing.

And I started exploring who I was as a single person outside of my marriage.

The result was that I was able to let go of the past and create a future where I can honestly say that I love my life... something that I never thought was possible after my divorce. 

So, if you recognise that you’re still living your old life… start by changing just one small thing and notice how you feel. Don’t try to change everything at once, just take one step at a time and be kind to yourself.

It’s the first step to reclaiming your future happiness.

If you’re ready to make divorce your ‘happy ever after’ then book a free call to chat about how I can help you make that a reality.