8 Ways to spend Mother’s Day when your kids are with your ex.

Spending Mother’s Day on your own without your kids after a breakup can be difficult, but with some advance planning, you can still have the special day that you deserve.

If possible think ahead and discuss arrangements with your ex to see if you can swap the day or agree up front that you will spend Mother's Day with them and he will have them for Father's Day.

I know this can be easier said than done, but try and switch the situation round from feeling sad that you don’t have your kids, to finding the positives in the situation. You can decide how you choose to think about it and your thoughts directly affect how you feel. So yes it's not ideal that you're not with them, but there will always be something positive – even if it’s just that you can have a nice long lie in and some time to yourself.

Start viewing the time that you don’t have the kids, as time for you, where you can rest and recharge if that’s what you need or choose to spend it seeing friends or taking up new hobbies.

Enjoy having this Mother’s Day to yourself. Focus on what you love doing but rarely have the time to do anymore. Today is the day to spoil yourself - however you choose but make sure you plan it ahead of time.

Here are 8 tips to help make your day special:

1. Arrange to see some friends who are in the same situation as you - you could meet for lunch, a lovely walk in nature or afternoon tea... whatever it is that you love doing. Make sure you're spending it with friends who light you up and make you feel good about yourself. The last thing you want to be doing is moaning about not being with your kids and bringing each other down.

2. Spend some quality time with your own mum or someone who's like a mum to you - I'm betting that now you have kids you don't get much opportunity to spend quality time alone with your own mum. Plan a special day for the two of you so that you can enjoy each other's company without being disturbed by the little ones.

3. Get outside in nature - without feeling pressured to get back home at a certain time. Grab a coffee, sit in nature and just be present in the moment. Enjoy the alone time with your thoughts and really tune in to your senses, noting what you can see, hear, taste, touch and feel. This helps you to be present and is great for reducing anxiety and calming the nervous system.

4. Have a pamper day - whether you book yourself into a spa or create a pamper day for yourself at home, either on your own or with a friend. Indulge yourself in everything that you normally don't get a chance to do when you have the kids. It could just be pampering yourself with a long hot bath with some scented candles and your favourite magazines, or booking in for some treatments... you'll feel so much better for it.

5. Take the time to just chill out - As a mum you're continually on the go trying to juggle everything. Take the day to just chill and even spend it in your PJs if that's what makes you happy. Take the time to read a book you’ve been meaning to start for ages, treat yourself to your favourite magazines, or binge that boxset you've wanted to what for ages but never had the time.

6. Move your body - This is the quickest way to shift your emotions when you're feeling negative. You'll feel so much better with the release of all the endorphins from moving your body. Do whatever you enjoy, whether that's a run, an exercise class, or a walk outside.

7. Stay off social media - All you'll be doing is torturing yourself with everyone else's highlight reels of the so called perfect Mother's Day, which rarely represents the reality. You want to be focusing on things that are going to lift your spirits today, so take the pressure off of the comparisons and give yourself a break for the day.

8. Celebrate with the kids on another day - Who says you have to celebrate on the official Mother's Day. The important thing is that you celebrate with the kids and make memories together. You get to enjoy a day to yourself spending it how you want and then another day with the kids!

Remember that this is just one day and it will pass. You will have plenty of other opportunities to make special memories with your kids. If your kids are going to your ex try not to be upset in front of them as they will just feel guilty and worry about you. Instead put on a brave face and encourage them to have fun with their dad.

If you’re going through a divorce at the moment and struggling to cope you can download my free gift to you – 10 Simple Secrets to Let Go of Heartbreak & Move On after Your Divorce.

https://www.sarah-woodward.com/10-Secrets

I also have a free Facebook group you can join – The Breakup and Divorce Lounge. It’s a community of women all in the same situation to support and encourage each other in a safe and non-judgemental space. https://bit.ly/thebreakupanddivorcelounge