5 Ways to Reclaim Your Power After Divorce.

Divorce can feel like your whole world has been turned upside down… sometimes overnight especially if it wasn’t your decision and you didn’t see it coming. One minute, you’ve got your whole life all mapped out together… and the next, you’re figuring out how to do life on your own.

It’s overwhelming, stressful, frightening, emotional, and, at times, exhausting. You can end up questioning everything … who you are outside of your marriage, what your future looks like, and whether you’ll ever feel truly happy again.

But here’s the thing: Divorce isn’t just an ending… It’s also a new beginning and a new chapter in your life. Whilst it may not feel like it right now… when you’re in the midst of it… this is your opportunity to rebuild, rediscover, and reclaim your power. It’s your opportunity to step off the treadmill and reassess your life, and to ask yourself what you really want in your future. It’s my mission to support you in thriving after your divorce by creating a life where you feel happier and stronger than ever before.

Divorce is one of the most stressful things you can go through in your life and can leave you feeling out of control. We’re all hardwired with a need to control as it makes us feel safe.

Reclaiming your power after divorce is about making choices that put you back in control of your life… so you can live your life on your terms. Here are five ways to do just that.

1. Set boundaries without feeling guilty

Boundaries are teaching people how to treat you. In many marriages, boundaries get blurred or even crushed over time. Take some time to reflect on whether you compromised too much in your relationship, prioritised your partner’s needs over your own, or tolerated things you weren’t happy about. Now is a great opportunity to reset your boundaries and be clear about what behaviour you will and won’t accept going forward.

• Limit contact with your ex, especially in the early stages. If you have children minimise the contact and keep any communication practical and just about the kids.
• Practice saying no to things that you don’t want to do and let go of worrying about what other people think.
• Make decisions based on what’s best for you… and what’s going to make you happy… not what you feel you ‘should’ be doing.

2. Take control of your finances

Money can be a major source of stress during and after divorce, especially if your partner handled the finances. Gaining financial independence is a key step in reclaiming your power.

• Get clarity on your financial situation and create a budget.
• Learn about investing, saving, and financial planning for your future.
• Work with a financial advisor if needed to build confidence in managing your money and understanding the financial impact of any decisions… especially when you’re negotiating the financial settlement.

3. Reconnect with yourself

Who were you before your marriage? What did you love doing? Divorce is a chance to rediscover your interests, passions, and set new goals for yourself. It’s not about going back to who you were but becoming the person you want to be.

• Try new hobbies, be open to new opportunities, think about what you loved doing as a kid and take inspiration from that.
• Travel to places you always wanted to visit… start your Breakup Bucket List.
• Focus on personal growth... the adversities we face in life are always an opportunity for learning and growth.

4. Build a strong support system

You don’t have to go through this alone and getting your support team in place is essential. Surrounding yourself with the right people can make all the difference.

• Lean on friends and family who uplift you and are fun to be with.
• Join a divorce support group, find a coach, or engage in therapy.
• Limit the time you spend with the mood hoovers in your life… you know the ones that drain your energy as soon as you’re in their company.

5. Rebuild your confidence and self-esteem

These can really take a knock during a divorce… especially if it wasn’t your decision and your partner left you. Reclaiming your power means recognising that your worth isn’t tied to your relationship status. Take the time to recognise all the strengths and qualities you bring to this world.

• Trust your instincts when making decisions. If this is difficult to start with, make a decision, and then run it by someone you trust.
• Focus on what makes you happy instead of what others expect. Ask yourself, what’s one thing you can do every day, to bring you joy.
• Practice self-care and self-compassion daily. All that negative self-talk is not doing you any favours.

Divorce is not the end… it’s a new beginning. By setting boundaries, taking control of your finances, reconnecting with yourself, building a strong support system, and rebuilding your self-worth, you can reclaim your power and create a life where you’re thriving. One where you feel happier and stronger than ever before.