3 Reasons more couples breakup around Valentine's Day.

Despite Valentine’s Day being a celebration of the love you have for your partner, multiple studies, including one tracking Facebook breakup statuses, have shown that more couples are likely to breakup in the weeks before and after Valentine’s Day. In fact, the media has actually dubbed the Tuesday before Valentine’s Day as Red Tuesday, the day of the year when most couples split up.

Research has shown that there are 3 main reasons for this:

1. Expectations: Like Christmas and New Year, Valentine’s Day is loaded with expectations. You’re surrounded by marketing for the day of love wherever you look, whether that’s on the TV, social media, or in the shops. Even the supermarkets have joined in with special Valentine’s Day meal deals. Expectations for the day itself can involve an expensive gift, night out, or even a weekend away, and it’s when the reality falls short of the expectation that issues and disappointment can occur. That disappointment can cause one partner to question the relationship as it’s not living up to their expectations so decide to call it quits.

2. Comparisons: It’s impossible to avoid comparing your relationship to others, especially when you’re seeing everyone’s highlight reels on social media, where you’re bombarded with photos and posts of the ‘perfect’ relationships on Valentine’s Day. It can highlight any issues and make you think that your relationship isn’t everything you hoped it would be. 

3. Dissatisfaction: Valentine’s Day can be a time for reflection and for some people it might be the final straw where they realise they can’t make the declaration of love that’s expected on this day and that their feelings for their partner aren’t what they should be. If there are already issues in the relationship, a disappointing Valentine’s Day can also exacerbate those and make them questions the whole relationship. The period between New Year and Valentine’s Day is often one of reflection for many people where they consider what they want for their lives and if they’re happy in their life and relationships. Valentine’s Day can be a crunch time when they realise it’s not what they want and aren’t prepared to pretend everything is fine.

If you’re feeling disappointed and dissatisfied with your relationship on Valentine’s Day this year, ask yourself whether you’re just disappointed with how you celebrated it with your partner and the effort you felt they made on the day. If that’s the case, try to get some perspective around how you feel about your relationship throughout the rest of the year and judge it on that instead. If it’s just a case of a disappointing Valentine’s Day have the conversation around your expectations with your partner so that you’re not in the same position this time next year.

If however, it’s an indication of how you’re feeling with your partner and relationship overall, then maybe this is the wakeup call you need to address the issues in your relationship to see whether it can be saved. This is going to require some open and honest conversation between both of you and may even benefit from some professional support.

If you’re reading this and going through a breakup, or you’re single and want some ideas on how to spend Valentine’s Day, then read my blog: How to be happy and single on Valentine’s Day. It was written during lockdown, but the tips still apply. You can read it here: https://www.sarah-woodward.com/blog/how-to-be-happy-and-single-this-valentine-s-day-in-lockdown